A new book I keep seeing pop up on Instagram feeds of people I follow in the wellness and mindset space is The Anxious Generation, this reminded me about 4 years ago I watched a documentary called The Social Dilemma. This documentary shows how harmful spending endless hours on social media can be, especially when it comes to our kids.
But in a world where social media is not just a tool but also part of how our teens communicate, learn, and play, striking a balance is more important than ever.
How can we help our teens navigate social media wisely, fostering a relationship with it that's healthy, informed, and positive?
The Social Dilemma highlighted how it's designed to leverage human psychology to foster addiction and manipulate behaviors. The documentary leaves many parents and educators wondering how to apply its insights, especially when abstaining from social media isn't a realistic solution for most teens.
Dying for likes. The dark truth of social media.
Every night I lie in bed with the intention of relaxing for a few minutes but end up mindlessly scrolling Instagram. I know I’m not alone, right?!?!
The documentary Social Dilemma uses real-life testimony from current and former Silicon Valley executives on the various pitfalls of apps like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
My husband and I, like so many other parents got our kids electronic devices, phones, tablets, etc. way too young and allowed them to have TikTok and Instagram. I’m regretting this so much more and more everyday but even more after watching this.
As an adult I go back sometimes and check my likes. More so on my business accounts then my personal but if I’m doing this and worrying I’m not getting likes think how our kids are feeling! They're getting their validation and self worth on a selfie they posted through a stupid heart button.
Other pitfalls of social media. Cyberbullying and kids need for approval on social media.
Kids are also able to see when they weren’t invited somewhere and feel left out.
Another takeaway from the documentary, experts confirm that social media users don't have any privacy whatsoever in terms of what they search or what videos and photos they interact with on their feeds. It’s so scary.
But now the positive side of social media for teens:
Social media isn't just for hanging out, it's where homework groups collaborate, sports teams announce schedules, and school updates are shared. It's the area where much of today's teenage socializing happens, from forming friendships to maintaining them. Cutting off social media might isolate our teens more than protect them.
Strategies for a Healthy Balance:
1. Open Dialogues:
Start with open, ongoing conversations about social media. Discuss its benefits and pitfalls honestly. Encourage critical thinking by talking about aspects of "The Social Dilemma," such as data privacy, the intention behind algorithms, and the psychological tricks used to boost engagement.
2. Educational Workshops:
Schools and sports teams can host workshops that teach media literacy. Understanding how social media works behind the scenes can empower teens to use it more responsibly and recognize when they’re being manipulated.
3. Set Examples:
Adults should model the digital behavior they wish to see in their teens. This means setting your own boundaries around social media use and sharing your experiences and strategies for maintaining balance.
4. Encourage Digital Detoxes:
Promote regular intervals where the whole family unplugs from digital devices. Whether it’s during dinner, on weekend family outings, or designated "no-phone" hours, these breaks can help mitigate the risk of addiction and encourage more face-to-face interactions.
5. Highlight Alternative Communications:
Teach teens that social media isn't the only way to stay connected. Encourage them to engage in direct communications like phone calls. My kids are always on Facetime so this is another idea they can communicate.
6. Use Tools and Settings:
Make use of available tools and settings for privacy and screen time management. Many social media platforms and smartphones offer features that help monitor and limit usage. Setting these up can help teens maintain control over their social media interactions.
Navigating the web of social media is not easy, especially for our teens who are growing up in a digitally saturated world. My hope as a mom is that by educating them and ourselves, setting healthy boundaries, and having open communication, we can help our teens use social media as a tool for positive growth rather than a pitfall. It's about balance, not banishment. Will this be perfect? No. But I think with any mom of teens we want to protect our kids physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want to take these insights and turn them into action.
Talk to your teen tonight about setting one small digital goal, whether it's turning off notifications during dinner, for and hour or two in the evening, or when they are back in school during homework time or curating their feeds to reduce negative content. Every small step is a step towards healthier digital habits.
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